born​-​again shell

by Jon Bash

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1.
05:21
2.
04:18
3.
04:58
4.
07:15
5.
06:30
6.
05:15
7.
09:06
8.
05:25
9.
03:42

about

a weird-and-potentially-uncomfortable-but-catchy-and-fun-and-also-poignant personal journey through the depths of one end of my psyche and out the other side... in the form of 9 eclectic, adventurous, and evolving electronic-rock-folk-pop songs.

influences here are wide and diverse, going from dirgy synthwave-rock anthem to electro-thrash to psychedelic drone-blues... and that's just the first 3 songs.

themes subtly re-occur between songs, musically and lyrically.

credits

released September 3, 2016

written and recorded 2014-2016 at hashbart studios and fever creek studios

all songs written, recorded, performed, produced by Jon Bash except

track 7 written by Jon Bash and John von Volkli
clarinet on track 6 performed by Elie Hartman

album art painted and digitally mutilated by Jon Bash

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license

all rights reserved

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about

Jon Bash Bellingham, Washington

Jon Bash is a composer currently living in Bellingham, WA. He writes music for games, films, and his own (and hopefully others') enjoyment. He has a Bachelor & Master of Music in Composition from Western Washington University. He does other things, too. But that's not important. ... more

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Track Name: say
i’m craving
something i can’t
have; i’m a-
-live; hear me
out here; you can’t
help unless you
try any-
-thing; will you help me
please, even if you
say something
wrong; i will under-
stand; i will under-
stand
we’ve been through
this a thousand
times; let’s get
real; i’m a
fool; i can’t go
on; i’m just
dead
Track Name: good
somewhere inside of my feeble mind
there's a place where my vices can grow
you won't believe me when i tell you
but i think deep inside you know

'cause we're the same you and me, i'm telling you
there's something in us fighting to get out
i've found a way to deal with my pains
but it seems you're holding some doubts

well now i'm not feeling anything
so i'm filling up my glass with that stuff again
and i know it's such a selfish thing
but i wish you felt as good as i did
yeah i wish you felt as good as i did

somewhere inside of my feeble mind
i just know that i can get through
pushing and shoving and not giving up on you and what you do
it's the same every time, i'm telling you
resisting all these primal drives
so give in with me, just step up with me
come on come on come on (etc)

now i'm still not feeling anything
so i'm brewing up a pint of that beer again
and i know it's still a selfish thing
but i wish you felt as good as i did
yeah i wish you felt as good as i did

give
in
let
go
Track Name: waters
i’ve been drinking these waters
for far too long
i’ve been sleeping in showers
for three hours
i’ve been dying in gutters
since i came home

you’ve been cast out of eden
by three angry gods
you’ve been killing your brothers
since you were born
you’re a flesh-eating monster
and i can't tell
  
i can’t always take all the blame
it can’t always be up to me

i’ve been drinking these waters
for far too long
i’ve been sleeping in showers
for three hours
i’ve been dying in gutters
since i came home
Track Name: secrets
secrets
never holding you down
always showing you how
how the word gets around

weakness
got you trapped in a cage
i know you think you're safe
but you're back on the stage

turn around
for the millionth time
inside out
sing along inside
with no doubt
never crossed that line
you're not doing fine

screaming
shout into an empty room
someone might show up soon
but you do not know who

dancing
like there's nothing the matter
hit a landmine and scatter
you can't avoid the truth

feel disgrace and
feel sensation
hold on to me
you're here with me

secrets
always holding me down

turn around
for the millionth time
inside out
sing along inside
with no doubt
never crossed that line
you're not doing fine

turn around
for the millionth time
inside out
sing along inside
with no doubt
never crossed that line
i'm not doing fine

look up into my eyes
look back and ask yourself why
don't think i'll forget that day
trust me when you hear me say

take back again
what you said then
i'm not feeling
any pity

feel disgrace and
feel sensation
hold on to me
you're here with me

secrets
never holding you down
always showing you how
Track Name: inaction
i’ve got concerns
about the way that i work
and it’s all i’m working on all day
yeah i’ve got ideas
that i swear would blow your mind
if i could just… do them today

i’ve got these words
drifting out of my head
before they even land on any page
i’m not a fool
but i’m a sucker for commission
when the pay’s not a livable wage

i’m losing my traction
i’m trapped in inaction
i know you can hear me
just please, oh please take me seriously

yeah, i’ve spent weeks
digging into my brain
searching for the key; no, that's not hyperbole
and i’ve got these thoughts
that pick away at my brain
like a parasite slowly killing me

don't be concerned about my wellbeing
or the songs that you hear me singing,
i swear they're just abstractions on the page
just close the door behind you on your way out,
i'm lost beyond the shadow of a doubt
just cheer for me when i walk up onstage

we’re losing our traction
we’re trapped in distraction
i know you can hear us
we’re switched on, but helpless to do anything

i'm so far away from
keeping you in sight
while you're getting further
and i can't seem to
ever get things right
i'm just an observer
Track Name: leviasphere
#!/[~]$>_
Track Name: wait
i gave up on you today
i thought we had something more to say
but you let go so long ago
and i can't wait anymore

maybe you'll find someone to hear you
and maybe we'll find some other time
but i'm not holding out any hope
if you won't make the time, neither will i

so here we are
and here we'll stay
for the time being
i will be
back in touch
eventually

if you had your reasons
i'd have your back
but oh you loved me
like mice love a trap

get your-
self some help
get a
hold of yourself

don't think i don't understand
don't think i won't hold your
but why should we even talk the talk?
we can't even crawl the walk

so here we are
and here we'll stay
for the time being
i will be
back in touch
eventually

if you don't know
where to go
follow me
i will lead
you back here

maybe you'll find somebody to hear you
and maybe we'll find some other time
and i'll be here if you ever come around
and don't you wait for death

so here i am
and here i'll stay
for the time being
i will be
back in touch
eventually
Track Name: now
when i'm stuck inside my head
i look out upon my breath
i can see i've got no head

where are my eyes? where is my face?
what's this disguise? what is this place?
what a disgrace

can't you see how there's no point?
can't you feel it in your joints?
you've been displaced

i can feel my body here
can't you feel it disappear
you're no one, you're everyone
we are all gone

we are now, we are one
i am you, you are me

are you here? are you there? are you inside everywhere?
are you then? are you now? can you feel me anyhow?
if you allow

look inside your head and feel
sit trembling and disappear
i swear you've got nothing to fear

fall down into
heaven in you

feel completion
feel cessation
let go; release
you're here with me
Track Name: way
far out
between us
the sun sets
below the blackened wood

i see
you reach out
but no one
takes your hand

but you
follow the footsteps
out of your sanctuary
into the morning light

seeing
for the first time
this canyon
carved out of ashen wood

i reach
my hand out
and you run
to greet me there

and i
follow your footsteps
out of my sanctuary
into the morning light

wake up, old friend
stand up, transcend this
false reality
keeping this wall between us
vast projections to tomorrow
prospects breeding endless sorrow
hanging on to yesterday
but i know we can find a way